The Road Not Taken

Sharing a letter from my dad about my previous post "Why Us?" and his thoughts on being on this journey with us.

Your feelings were perfectly understandable at that time, and I guess we all felt the same way you did because of our ignorance, our mindset, and our fears. Now all those are gone, thanks to Matthew and the unconditional love from you and Bill, and of course from all of us in the family. I realize now that it's just one less traveled (therefore, grassier!) road that we are made to travel with Matthew, and thankfully one without regrets "as way leads on to way" like the one that Robert Frost discovered in his famous poem here...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

And guess what...we get to travel both roads! What could be better? :-)

The Wait Is Almost Over

D-Day has finally come. It's not as unpredictable as I thought it would've been since I'm going to be induced instead of waiting for labor to happen on its own. In a way, it takes the thrill and mystery out of the event. Yet, from a practical point of view, I like the idea of making the 1-hour drive to the hospital without labor pains. Regardless of how it all happens - whether by inducing labor, spontaneous labor, or even a c-section - meeting and holding our little girl in our arms is the exciting culmination of 40 weeks of living in me. Then we will begin life as a family of four, well, five if you count our cat, Yuri.

Looking back at the past months of being pregnant, I can say that some days flew by while others were a drag. This cute poem that Cheryl at Ruby's Life shared with me perfectly summarizes my pregnancy experience.

Mother in Waiting
Author: Karen Burniston

The beginning's exciting, I'm pregnant at last!
but the excitement's soon over and goes downhill fast
Instead comes the sickness, the aversion to smells,
The aches, the fatigue, the emotional spells.
Will I survive months one, two and three?
I try to remember...
My baby's in me!

The ...next part is easy, my energy's back.
Morning, noon, midnight seem good times for snacks.
I'm hungry, I'm happy, I'm radiantly glowing.
I buy some new clothes when my belly starts showing.
It's easy to justify all that I eat,
I simply remember...
My Baby's in me!

The novelty's fading in trimester three.
My ankles are swollen. My bladder's a pea.
The baby is kicking my insides to bits.'
Seat belts and shoe laces both give me fits.
I'm approaching my due date with much jubilee,
It wont be much longer till
My baby's with me!

World Down Syndrome Day 2010

Today is World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD). According to Down Syndrome International, the date (March 21) was chosen to signify the uniqueness of Down syndrome in the triplication (trisomy) of the 21st chromosome and is used synonymously with Down syndrome.

Commemoration of World Down Syndrome Day started on 21 March 2006 with the inaugural WDSD launched in Singapore.

Today, I share with you a poem written by my sister-in-law, Lisa Kang.


A Villanelle of Down Syndrome
by Lisa Kang

I am not sad about the fact that I have Down syndrome. It is just part of me. - Margaret Muller

Down syndrome is just one part of me
As there are many parts of you
Open your mind and try to see.

My almond, spangled eyes reveal the capacity
To love, to learn, as others do
Down syndrome is just one part of me.

You see a flattened, mask-like face, irregularity
You miss the beauty shining through
Open your mind and try to see.

I watch the world’s events unfold, with curiosity
The same interests that you pursue
Down syndrome is just one part of me.

Senseless discrimination: your disability

I welcome you, begin anew

Open your mind and try to see.

Discover the dazzling spectrum of my ability
As prisms expand light to show a vibrant range of hues
Down syndrome is just one part of me.
Open your mind and try to see.

Playdate with Braska and Kinlee

Braska and Kinlee came over to play,
It was the highlight of the day.



We played in the ball pool and watched some TV.
Baby Signing Time fans - Braska, Kinlee and me.


Both mommies ate pizza while we played more.
We had so many toys all over the floor.

Then we got tired and friends had to go.
We said our good-byes, it was nap time you know.

'Til the next playdate, dear friends we shall meet,
This was great fun, it was such a treat!

Related posts:
Fist Bumps and Fives

My Favorite Things (Matthew's version)

(Sing to the tune of My Favorite Things in the movie 'The Sound of Music'.)


Colorful board books and musical choo-choos
Long tails on kittens and fancy wide blue shoes
Cheerios, yogurt, paper and strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Spiky balls, beach balls, some bigger than me
Rides in red wagons and bark on the tree
Big sloppy kisses and telephone rings
These are a few of my favorite things

Towers to knock down and bath water splashes
Bubbles that pop on my nose and eyelashes
Tickles, grins, mirrors and fun window clings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Remember You're Unique, Just Like Everyone Else

My title is borrowed from an email my mom had forwarded to me. It was a list of zen teachings, which I found rather humorous, and the one that stuck to me was "Remember you're unique, just like everyone else". I think it's because I am relating it to much of the literature about Down syndrome for new parents, which is so much better these days than it was 10, 20 and more years ago. Sadly, many years ago, the message to new parents of babies with Down syndrome was "Put your baby in an institution and forget about him." Today, in most places, the message to new parents is "Congratulations! Take him home, get to know him and love him, as all babies deserve. You are about to embark on an amazing journey." To this day, advocates for Down syndrome continue efforts to replace outdated information that OB-Gyns and pediatricians may have. (Thank you!!)

When Bill and I had first found out that Matthew had Down syndrome, I remember how we were both overwhelmed with uncertainty and fear. It was our unpreparedness and the lack of knowledge about our new set of circumstances that caused our initial grief. How different would our lives be? How would society treat us? What was Matthew's future going to be like, what with the seemingly endless list of potential health issues that he would be predispositioned to because of Down syndrome?

That was less than 2 years ago, and today I see how having Matthew in our lives has opened many doors, opportunities and experiences. We still worry about Matthew's future, but what parent doesn't worry about their child/children's futures? My friend, Amy, emailed me recently and I love how she summed up everything she has read so far about babies with Down syndrome. She said,

"Abilities and issues vary so widely, just like for babies without DS, so the bottom line for us all is that we need to learn who our babies are as individuals – what a colossal challenge!"

Matthew has some of Bill's traits and some of mine, and even some of his grandparents'. He has Bill's hairstyle, my hair color, Bill's wide feet, my short fingers, Bill's face shape, my nose and eyes. He has our stubborn streak and silent determination. He looks like my dad when he's asleep. He has the simian crease on the palms of his hands, which is typical trait for people with Down syndrome, but Bill's dad has it too on both hands. (A simian crease is a single line that runs across the palm of the hand. People normally have three creases in their palms). Matthew is really more like other typical kids than unlike them. He will walk and talk, go to school, make friends, hold a job, and add richness to many people's lives. He is no different than you or I, yet he is a unique individual... just like everyone else.

The Creed of Babies with Down Syndrome

(Author unknown)
My face may be different

But my feelings the same

I laugh and I cry

And I take pride in my gains

I was sent here among you

To teach you to love

As God in the heavens

Looks down from above

To Him I'm no different

His love knows no bounds

It's those here among you

In cities and towns

That judge me by standards

That man has imparted

But this family I've chosen

Will help me get started

For I'm one of the children

So special and few

That came here to learn

The same lessons as you

That love is acceptance

It must come from the heart

We all have the same purpose

Though not the same start

The Lord gave me life

To live and embrace

And I'll do it as you do

But at my own pace