Thursday, October 14, 2010

Thoughts on Monica & David

I just watched an HBO documentary film called Monica and David. It's the story of two newlyweds in their 30's starting their lives together. They both have Down syndrome. I always get so emotional when watching films that are Down syndrome-related. I teared up in parts especially when Monica's mom said "She's my life's work."

I've always thought about Matthew's independence since he was a baby. Watching the film was validating of how truly important it is for Matthew to learn to do most things by himself. Like David's mom, I think about what would happen should I leave this earth. It's hard to think about but it's part of life. We can't prevent it from happening but we can sort of prepare for it. Bill and I set up a trust and will two years ago. I have prepared a letter of intent which I update when needed. And hopefully, there would be strong support networks like family, relatives, friends and special service coordinators who'd willingly lend a hand.

I've thought about the process of "letting go" when Matthew is older. I'll have to remember (or someone will have to remind me) to take a step back and allow Matthew to find his wings - go out with his friends without me tagging along, order his own food at a restaurant, work. Thankfully, I've got many years to go before taking bigger steps like that. For right now, we'll focus on self-feeding, undressing and dressing.

4 comments:

Jasmine said...

Beautifully said!!!!

Michelle said...

I felt much the same way when I saw the screening of the documentary in Orlando. Watching Monica's mom made me make a 'mental note' to not hover over Kayla so much and to ensure I'm not the one holding her back. Also there was that scene where they were cooking and I think they said neither of them had ever boiled water before. Another mental note to make sure I'm teaching Kayla all those little things to learn so she can do on her own and be as independent as possible.

To Love Endlessly said...

I haven't been able to watch it yet. I imagine a lot of us worry about the future and needing to let go when the time is right. For now, take in the precious moments and worry about letting go when the time is right.

evrfwd said...

Wonderful post! I just watched the documentary today and was brought to tears. "She's my life work" really stuck with me also. I do think that everything we do today will help our children be independent and strong.